Two Bins

Like a snake shedding its skin.

Going through all of my clothes, my old college papers, down to my diary entries from 6th grade.

I even came across a written rant that stated ” I am 15 and perfectly capable.”

Lets all laugh together.

It was something I have put off for years, and after finally doing it, I understand why.

Going through everything, causes you to relive memories of a time before, a different version of you. The different clothes you used to wear, the different things you used to like, and a different way of thinking.

And surprisingly, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It was relieving.

I was able to take a storage unit full of memories, and fit what was most important into two plastics bins.

And I couldn’t be happier.

Ocean

Someone once asked me, to describe a peaceful scene, where calm existed, my happy place.

I said the ocean.

“But why? The ocean is so uncertain, the tides are unpredictable, storms come and create huge waves.  It is anything but calm.”

I disagreed.

It may take hours or days, but it will always go back to a peaceful state.

It is the ocean that creates the raging waves, the strong undercurrent.  The storm is just an outside source, and the waves are the oceans way of being, since the beginning of time.

That is the most calming thing about it. How the ocean rages and storms, and how it both hurts and heals.  While it is stormy in one place, it is calm in another. And in the midst of all that, it is still the same.  There will always be calm, there will always be glistening from the sun, and there will always be the same calming, lapping waves.

Money Makes The World Go Round

Money equated happiness.

Growing up, that seemed to be the theme.

“If only I had{insert amount here}, it will make me happy”.

“If your father pays me {insert amount here}, everything will be better”

“When you make {insert amount here}, everything will be better”

“When I have {insert amount here}, then I will be able to retire and live the life of my dreams.”

I thought I rejected this, as I had seen money cause so much unhappiness in the people around me.  It seemed to be pain point rather than a happiness button.

However, when I was thinking about my goals, it had to do with {insert amount here}.

If this really was true, that money got you a ticket on the happiness train, then why did Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, along with so many countless others, choose to jump off?

Money is just a tool.  The real thing that is important is how you feel about yourself, and how you are feeling in your surroundings.  Money can be used to change that which is important, but there is so much more work you have to do to fulfill yourself, rather than just your bank account.

Carousel Horses

“Two path diverged in the wood and I-I took the path less chosen by and that has made all the difference.”

~ The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

This is from one of my favorite poems. I apply it to many things in life and sometimes I think so deeply about it, it’s almost like I’ve stopped in my tracks.

I currently feel at a crossroads in my life, in many different sectors. When it comes to my career, or my path, I know that I will have to shut the door on one opportunity to open another.

However, this is paralyzing for me. Am I making the right decision? Will I regret it later on? How do you REALLY know if you are making a good choice. And really the fact is you don’t.

In an interview, Seth Godin explained that he thought “finding your purpose” is not accurate or true. He compared choices like these to carousal horses on a merry go round. The carousel will kept spinning, and showing you different kinds until you choose to get on the horse.

So, I’m currently trying to make a choice of which horse I want to ride.

I think one of my fears now, is that I will be so consumed with analyzing each and every one, that I won’t ever ride the carousel at all, that I will just sit and there and watch all of the pretty opportunities pass by, and not realize what my potential is.

I guess, one of the great things about the carousel, if it keeps spinning, and if I decide I want to ride one horse, I can always get off and get on another one.

Your Dreams Are Too Big.

“Your dreams are too big.”

You may be thinking, how could anyone say that to another person? It’s like an insult.

However, people hear it all the time.

When we are small, we are told that “You can be anything you want.” So, we choose the astronaut, the firefighter, leader of the free world, a superhero that flies, etc.  There’s even posters  in every classroom; saying “Reach for the Stars!” “Be Yourself!”.Change the World!”

It’s ironic though, how the kid that wants to do things a little differently, they may want to color outside the lines, or notice that you can gather the basketballs outside easier using a hula hoop, gets scolded.  “That’s not how you do it!”

Or the kid that wants to be a writer, gets told that there is no money in writing, while reading Harry Potter, written by an author worth more than a billion dollars.

Or the eccentric child that wants to be a movie star, so they act dramatic and sing loudly.  However, they are told to be quiet, sit still, and PAY ATTENTION. Which is another way of saying, “Dim your light please.”

As we grow into adults, “Dim your light please” shows up in all kinds of ways.

“You will never make any money doing that.”

“That will never work out, just cut your losses”

“That’s a crazy idea! Why don’t you just get a real job.”

“Please, just stick to the script.”

Check all boxes.

Dim. Your. Light.

However, our light is what makes us special, and ultimately guides us to what we really want to do in life.  It shines on ideas and people that make us happy. And, the best part is that no two are the same.

The people that tell you to dim your light, are the same people that don’t understand how bright theirs can shine too. They may be fearful that the light that shines on your dreams will cast a shadow on theirs.  So, they tell you to dream smaller.  So they can be more comfortable. However, they have it all wrong.

Never be afraid that your light is too bright or your dreams are too big.  And next time you hear a version of “You dream too big”, ask them to share the biggest dream they ever had for themselves.

You may catch a glimmer of their light too.

 

 

Starbucks at 6:00 am

I’m at my usual Starbucks at 6 am.

I usually come to this location before heading to work. This is usually at around 8:45 or 9am, depending on if i’m running late. I have grown accustomed to seeing certain people there at 9.  There is always one person who is working on his laptop, and then there  is Frank, who I say hi to every morning, and of course the baristas who know my order.

Starbucks at 6 am is a little different.  There is the parking attendant sitting inside, watching a TV show on his phone before his shift starts.  The baristas are just getting everything prepped for the day.

As I look outside the window, I see a woman in her Burberry robe., walking her dog. She looking at her phone, most likely checking emails before work, as her little dog zig zags in front of her.

The business man in his suit walks in and orders a tall drip, and places his newspaper under his arm, while getting cash from his wallet; tipping the baristas a dollar. He sits down and reads his newspaper, drinking his coffee black.

It’s about 6:45 am now, the early risers,  those that get up to really prepare for their day, are getting their daily coffee. You know that they are frequent customers; as the baristas know their name and order already.

I wonder if the baristas see the customers in waves like I do.  This is the first wave: the early risers.  The 9 am wave, the one I usually ride, is a little more rushed, customers are a little more anxious, and its a little more busy.

I’m going to make it a goal to be on the Early Riser wave more often, not only with Starbucks, but with exercise and meetings, and other facets of life.

Everyone seems more calm, relaxed and happy here.

Living Like Lexi…

So I postponed this post for quite awhile.

What do you write about for  your first blog post? Do you introduce yourself? Do you say why you went through the process of creating a blog in the first place? What I ate for breakfast? ( which was coffee… of course.)

I figured I would just start by reflecting on a favorite quote of mine:

People themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them forever.” ~Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I first came across this quote when I was sixteen, forced to read this book for a school assignment.  After I read this, I highlighted it and it has continued to intrigue me to this day.  I have always been really interested in human nature.  Why do people react the way they react? What lens are they looking though, that differs from mine? I was really interested in what was behind peoples thoughts and motives.  This quote really shifted how I received different opinions.

The world is always changing, people are always changing, and along with that, their view of the world.

It also is a reminder to me that change is inevitable, and is healthy, even if it doesn’t feel that way.  You also shouldn’t be upset at someone for growing or shifting, because you too are also growing and shifting.

And if you aren’t growing and shifting, you really aren’t enjoying the human experience at all.