A friend told me the other day, that they wished they had the approval of a parent.
They wished that the parent validated who they are, and said “ I am proud of you”
I asked them to look at it from another perspective.
What are the parents’ values?
What is something that they would be proud of?
Are they someone that you would want to be like?
Is that who you want to be?
When you are little, you only have the scope of your direct environment. Your parents, parents friends, the village that raises the child.
As you get older your village expands, everything does. It’s grows and shifts and changes.
Your value, your opinions, who you want to be.
It all shifts.
You learn to emulate the traits you admire, and stay away from the undesirable.
When seeking approval, it’s important to also see what they would be approving of.
Do they approve of generosity, honesty, and kindness?
Or do they approve of selfishness, being misleading or indifference?
What traits are they proud of?
If you do not admire their values, you may want to be cautious if you hear the words “I am proud of you.”
What traits are they proud of?
You may be becoming less of who you are, and more of what you are trying so hard to stay away from.
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