Burn Out

A dear friend sent me the following article:

And it hit home.

When I was in college, I decided that going to school and having three jobs was a norm.  Then it became three jobs, trying to start a company, and having a social life.  My time was meticulously scheduled, so of course, sleep and mundane tasks suffered.  This went on for about 2-3 years, in which it became normal for me to have almost no free time.

When I went down to having one job, I had no idea what to do with my time off. “What do people do when they aren’t working?” That was literally what I thought and I took pride in it.

Instead of “hustle” being a part of who I am, it became the only thing that I was. Business was the only thing that anyone could really talk to me about. It was the only thing I brought up, it was the focus of all conversation.

Luckily, in this last year, I learned a significant lesson. I met people much wiser than me and all I wanted to talk about was business and how we could work together.  They looked at me and said, “Enough about business, what is Jenna like?”

When they asked me who Jenna was, I froze. I had no idea what to say. How do I finesse this? Ummm I like working. I had nothing else. No hobbies, no interesting stories (unless it surrounded my company.)

And I realized that people work with other people. People trust you and buy from you because of who you are as a person. People enjoy life with you because of who you are as a person. And I realized, in that moment, I had completely lost my identity.

I was thinking of things that were Jenna-like. I like to read memoirs, I love the beach, and I love acting. And I realized it had been years since I had actually finished reading a book, stuck my toes in the sand, or thought about getting on a stage. In fact, my events were spoken word events, and I never spoke into the mic.

I had come to a burnout.  No longer interested in what I was doing, completely detached, and living became mundane. I felt like I was leaping for things that I used to want, but no longer served me. I had to find new hobbies, and discover new things that I liked. And also learned to chill out, live in the moment, and enjoy life a little.

Ambition and tenacity are most certainly heavy personality traits of mine, but there are others that deserve the spotlight as well.

I have been working on that recently, and I am so much happier. Realizing that it’s ok to watch Netflix with my boyfriend for hours after an 40 hour work week. That’s not lazy at all, that’s being happy and living the special moments in life.

Enjoy the special moments and soak them up.


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